Which you are you?
Good Day to The Tribe,
This week I've been thinking a lot about duality. It would not take Freud or Jung to figure out why this has been on my mind. I have a writing life as L.A. Story. Under my own name, I am working on what is shaping up to be a serial novel (probably two parts) called The Gifted. (The Gifted will have two novels following - Criers and Beyond Shammua.)
Anyhoo, in the most basic breakdown of the plot, it is simply about good versus evil - in the world and in ourselves. Under my own name, I will be publishing supernatural/fantasy/scifi work.
Okay, so that would explain why I am examining this, right? But, just like with an infomercial - THAT'S NOT ALL! I also write under another pen name. I gave her official life last week on Twitter. Under that name, I write ... um ... darker stuff. Horror. Why do I feel the need to hide this part of myself under a pen name? Well, my friends, there's the question.
Last night, my second oldest daughter made a joke (sort of) about my pen name. She said, "The pen name is the person Mom really wishes she could be."
I laughed at the time, but then I wondered if there was some truth to what she said. I don't necessarily want to write horror all the time. I just can't stay there all the time. There are two parts to who I am as a writer, so I figured why not make it official?
Well, this thought led to examining the duality of my writing life. Duality is a fascinating and altogether frustrating concept to examine. In physics, there is wave theory and its interaction with matter (theory of which I don't entirely pretend to understand but the most remedial basics of any of those concepts).
A quote from Leviathan author, Robert Anton Wilson goes like this: “In order to eat, you have to be hungry. In order to learn, you have to be ignorant. Ignorance is a condition of learning. Pain is a condition of health. Passion is a condition of thought. Death is a condition of life.”
One of my favorite Jason Mraz songs, "Life Is Wonderful" is full of an examination of irony and life's dual nature. One of my favorite verses goes,
"And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
And it takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished"
As writers, we get to go to some places that are achingly beautiful. Alternatively, we must also go to the dark places where the scary beasts live and lie in wait for us. In order to be who we are and to speak with authenticity, we have to go to these places in our heads. Sometimes, what we produce might impress and/or frighten us.
In my opinion, it is important for all of us to figure ourselves out. Who are you? I mean who are you REALLY? Which you are you? Do you smile and say you like something that you don't really care for? It's hard to be yourself.
I have some artist and writer friends who work daily at being honest. One of my favorite things was a friend who is actually both an artist and writer. She was invited to a bridal shower where she goes to church. She knows she isn't like the other women at her church. Her views are not theirs. She goes to church for her own reasons rather than for any specific dogma. She just doesn't get caught up in it. Her reasons are private and I respect this.
My friend said she knows the other ladies at the church sometimes "don't know quite what to do with her." So, she gets invited to this bridal shower. She brings a gift and leaves it for the happy bride and proceeds to leave. She is stopped by one of the church ladies. "Aren't you staying" asks the church lady.
"No," my friend answers.
"Oh, no! Are you not feeling well?"
"No, I feel fine," my friend answers, patiently.
The church lady is genuinely confused. "Oh, then you must have someplace else to be."
"No." My friend is being backed into a corner. Do not ask for her reasons unless you want to know the answer. The church lady is pushing her.
"Then why are you not staying?"
"Because I don't want want to."
With the telling of this story, my friend became my hero. She was not in the mood to stay that day and did not give in to doing the polite thing out of a sense of duty. I probably would have stayed - that is the story of my life. I am getting better about this, but I still find myself doing crap I really don't want to do.
Thus, perhaps my pen name/alter ego is my way of not always doing the polite thing. The polite me is me .... the horror writer is also me.
Which you are you?
Think about it.
Hugs all around.
Until next time,
LA
This week I've been thinking a lot about duality. It would not take Freud or Jung to figure out why this has been on my mind. I have a writing life as L.A. Story. Under my own name, I am working on what is shaping up to be a serial novel (probably two parts) called The Gifted. (The Gifted will have two novels following - Criers and Beyond Shammua.)
Anyhoo, in the most basic breakdown of the plot, it is simply about good versus evil - in the world and in ourselves. Under my own name, I will be publishing supernatural/fantasy/scifi work.
Okay, so that would explain why I am examining this, right? But, just like with an infomercial - THAT'S NOT ALL! I also write under another pen name. I gave her official life last week on Twitter. Under that name, I write ... um ... darker stuff. Horror. Why do I feel the need to hide this part of myself under a pen name? Well, my friends, there's the question.
Last night, my second oldest daughter made a joke (sort of) about my pen name. She said, "The pen name is the person Mom really wishes she could be."
I laughed at the time, but then I wondered if there was some truth to what she said. I don't necessarily want to write horror all the time. I just can't stay there all the time. There are two parts to who I am as a writer, so I figured why not make it official?
Well, this thought led to examining the duality of my writing life. Duality is a fascinating and altogether frustrating concept to examine. In physics, there is wave theory and its interaction with matter (theory of which I don't entirely pretend to understand but the most remedial basics of any of those concepts).
A quote from Leviathan author, Robert Anton Wilson goes like this: “In order to eat, you have to be hungry. In order to learn, you have to be ignorant. Ignorance is a condition of learning. Pain is a condition of health. Passion is a condition of thought. Death is a condition of life.”
One of my favorite Jason Mraz songs, "Life Is Wonderful" is full of an examination of irony and life's dual nature. One of my favorite verses goes,
"And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
And it takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished"
As writers, we get to go to some places that are achingly beautiful. Alternatively, we must also go to the dark places where the scary beasts live and lie in wait for us. In order to be who we are and to speak with authenticity, we have to go to these places in our heads. Sometimes, what we produce might impress and/or frighten us.
In my opinion, it is important for all of us to figure ourselves out. Who are you? I mean who are you REALLY? Which you are you? Do you smile and say you like something that you don't really care for? It's hard to be yourself.
I have some artist and writer friends who work daily at being honest. One of my favorite things was a friend who is actually both an artist and writer. She was invited to a bridal shower where she goes to church. She knows she isn't like the other women at her church. Her views are not theirs. She goes to church for her own reasons rather than for any specific dogma. She just doesn't get caught up in it. Her reasons are private and I respect this.
My friend said she knows the other ladies at the church sometimes "don't know quite what to do with her." So, she gets invited to this bridal shower. She brings a gift and leaves it for the happy bride and proceeds to leave. She is stopped by one of the church ladies. "Aren't you staying" asks the church lady.
"No," my friend answers.
"Oh, no! Are you not feeling well?"
"No, I feel fine," my friend answers, patiently.
The church lady is genuinely confused. "Oh, then you must have someplace else to be."
"No." My friend is being backed into a corner. Do not ask for her reasons unless you want to know the answer. The church lady is pushing her.
"Then why are you not staying?"
"Because I don't want want to."
With the telling of this story, my friend became my hero. She was not in the mood to stay that day and did not give in to doing the polite thing out of a sense of duty. I probably would have stayed - that is the story of my life. I am getting better about this, but I still find myself doing crap I really don't want to do.
Thus, perhaps my pen name/alter ego is my way of not always doing the polite thing. The polite me is me .... the horror writer is also me.
Which you are you?
Think about it.
Hugs all around.
Until next time,
LA
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