Walking in her shoes
She was a just a baby herself.
In love, and looking to get away from a domineering mother, she saw her future in marriage at the age of 16. She had her first child -- a daughter (me) -- at the age of 18. Three more daughters followed later. My mother is an extraordinary woman. She is far more extraordinary than she knows. She has always had self-esteem issues. (Sometimes I see a lot of myself in her, in that regard.) She constantly underestimates her value in the eyes of those who love her. She gave up her youth for her girls. However, she did not give up her dreams. She was intelligent and had a love of medicine and science.
When I was in high school, she got a grant to go to school to be a nurse. I remember when she got the news of her grant. She stood in our small kitchen area and told us the news with tears in her eyes. It was the fulfillment of a dream and the beginning of a fabulous nursing career. Even though she is now retired, I still run into people who recognize her name and tell me that my mother took care of them in the hospital. They talk about her compassion and how she went the extra mile for them. She waited with them. She cried with them. She enjoyed her patients and was meticulous in their care. There were dreams she did not have the time or confidence to pursue, such as becoming a nurse practitioner or the ultimate dream -- becoming a doctor. Retired now, she hopes to travel with Dad -- her husband of almost 50 years. The man who showed his appreciation of her by making those late night dinners for four children while Mom studied or worked part-time while she was in college.
Recently, a friend of mine had some really nice shoes.. I mean REALLY nice. Eighty dollars-a-pair nice. I rarely spend that much on shoes. She is always so giving. She gave me not one, but three pairs, of her old shoes because she knew I admired them. She has a better paying job than I do, but she has had to fight for a long time to have what she wants. Some days, she still struggles. I know she gets weary.
The used shoes I enjoy made me think about the old adage about walking in someone else's shoes. Tonight, I wondered what that would really be like. Hence, the real look at my mother's life. My look at my best friend's life. Although my sibling rivalry ended long ago ... our modern world sometimes makes it hard to REALLY look and think about my three younger sisters and what their lives are like.
Each woman with her own dreams and disillusionment. One sister, deals with issues that I thought would break her; yet, she is still here and fighting. I hate the days when that old mischievous light I have always seen in her eyes seems dulled. I want to gather my childhood sister/friend to me and protect her forever. She has a beauty and generosity of heart that peeks out at the oddest moments.
Another sister is facing two of children moving into the treacherous waters of adulthood and she is troubled with the ache of learning how to let them grow up. She faces other hardships that are sometimes so burdensome that I don't know how she keeps her sense of humor. She is a fighter. I see it. That steely determination to make it happen at all costs.
Yet, another sister, faces a fading ideal that she wanted for her life. It is still viable, but the window is closing. She has always had big dreams. There have been days I know she despaired and I don't know how to tell her how much I ache for her. These days, she has picked up new dreams and she pounds away like a miner searching for gold as she fights to make her dreams a reality.
Getting to know other people is what we lack today with our increasing technological isolation. Well, I say come on, relearn how to come and sit on my front porch. Let's talk. We need to connect. To know each other. As human beings, we need to learn to look ... and REALLY think about what it means to be the person next to us.
If we could learn to connect on that level -- with such empathy like the world has never before seen -- then anything is possible. We could create a circle of love that would radiate the world over and warm everyone.
I know this is not likely. Probably not even possible. We are human and each of us has the power of choice. For now, I choose to take more moments now and then to walk in another person's shoes. It is only then that I can really learn how to love.
My love to you people of The Tribe out here. I know you are Awake. Make it your mission to awaken others.
Peace out.
-- LA
In love, and looking to get away from a domineering mother, she saw her future in marriage at the age of 16. She had her first child -- a daughter (me) -- at the age of 18. Three more daughters followed later. My mother is an extraordinary woman. She is far more extraordinary than she knows. She has always had self-esteem issues. (Sometimes I see a lot of myself in her, in that regard.) She constantly underestimates her value in the eyes of those who love her. She gave up her youth for her girls. However, she did not give up her dreams. She was intelligent and had a love of medicine and science.
When I was in high school, she got a grant to go to school to be a nurse. I remember when she got the news of her grant. She stood in our small kitchen area and told us the news with tears in her eyes. It was the fulfillment of a dream and the beginning of a fabulous nursing career. Even though she is now retired, I still run into people who recognize her name and tell me that my mother took care of them in the hospital. They talk about her compassion and how she went the extra mile for them. She waited with them. She cried with them. She enjoyed her patients and was meticulous in their care. There were dreams she did not have the time or confidence to pursue, such as becoming a nurse practitioner or the ultimate dream -- becoming a doctor. Retired now, she hopes to travel with Dad -- her husband of almost 50 years. The man who showed his appreciation of her by making those late night dinners for four children while Mom studied or worked part-time while she was in college.
Recently, a friend of mine had some really nice shoes.. I mean REALLY nice. Eighty dollars-a-pair nice. I rarely spend that much on shoes. She is always so giving. She gave me not one, but three pairs, of her old shoes because she knew I admired them. She has a better paying job than I do, but she has had to fight for a long time to have what she wants. Some days, she still struggles. I know she gets weary.
The used shoes I enjoy made me think about the old adage about walking in someone else's shoes. Tonight, I wondered what that would really be like. Hence, the real look at my mother's life. My look at my best friend's life. Although my sibling rivalry ended long ago ... our modern world sometimes makes it hard to REALLY look and think about my three younger sisters and what their lives are like.
Each woman with her own dreams and disillusionment. One sister, deals with issues that I thought would break her; yet, she is still here and fighting. I hate the days when that old mischievous light I have always seen in her eyes seems dulled. I want to gather my childhood sister/friend to me and protect her forever. She has a beauty and generosity of heart that peeks out at the oddest moments.
Another sister is facing two of children moving into the treacherous waters of adulthood and she is troubled with the ache of learning how to let them grow up. She faces other hardships that are sometimes so burdensome that I don't know how she keeps her sense of humor. She is a fighter. I see it. That steely determination to make it happen at all costs.
Yet, another sister, faces a fading ideal that she wanted for her life. It is still viable, but the window is closing. She has always had big dreams. There have been days I know she despaired and I don't know how to tell her how much I ache for her. These days, she has picked up new dreams and she pounds away like a miner searching for gold as she fights to make her dreams a reality.
Getting to know other people is what we lack today with our increasing technological isolation. Well, I say come on, relearn how to come and sit on my front porch. Let's talk. We need to connect. To know each other. As human beings, we need to learn to look ... and REALLY think about what it means to be the person next to us.
If we could learn to connect on that level -- with such empathy like the world has never before seen -- then anything is possible. We could create a circle of love that would radiate the world over and warm everyone.
I know this is not likely. Probably not even possible. We are human and each of us has the power of choice. For now, I choose to take more moments now and then to walk in another person's shoes. It is only then that I can really learn how to love.
My love to you people of The Tribe out here. I know you are Awake. Make it your mission to awaken others.
Peace out.
-- LA
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